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Meetings: Working with Difficult People - 2

The 'latecomer', the 'headshaker' and the 'loudmouth'. We all experience them at some point in our career. Perhaps when chairing a meeting or facilitating a workshop. But what can you do about them? Here are some suggestions:

The Whisperer

Impact:

  • One of the most irritating difficult people in a meeting or workshop. Very disruptive making it difficult to concentrate.
  • Reduces focus and shifts control.
How to handle:
    The Whisperer
  • Try walking up close – this works most of the time. If there are several ‘whisperers’ then bring the group to order by reminding the to keep focused and that only one person should be talking at any given time.
  • If you get a persistent pair whispering then suggest that they share their conversation with the rest of the group. If you know that known ‘whisperers’ are attending then try getting them to sit apart.
  • If all else fails then ask them to hold their conversation elsewhere and to return when they have completed it.

The Loudmouth

Impact:

  • This person dominates the conversation. They are encountered quite often in meetings and workshops. They are often senior people or key decision makers.
  • Time waster, removes other from process.
How to handle:
  • Move close to them while maintaining eye contact until you are standing in front of them. Your physical presence – you standing and them sitting – will often make them aware of their behaviour and they will stop talking. Immediately shift your focus and call on someone else to speak.
  • Some people just have to voice an idea as soon as they think of it.
  • Deal with the problem outside the workshop. Point out that they are dominating the conversation and preventing others from participating.
  • Reinforce the ground rules.

The Interpreter

Impact:

  • This person speaks for other people, e.g. ‘What Susan is trying to say is..”
  • Time waster.
How to handle:
  • Either jump in immediately and note that ‘Susan’ can speak for herself, or at the end of the interruption ask ‘Susan’ if it was an accurate representation of what she said. This sends a message to the ‘interpreter’ that they are not required by the group as a mouthpiece.

The Gossiper

Impact:

  • Introduces unsubstantiated hearsay to the workshop wasting a lot of time in arguments over whether something is true or not.
How to handle:
  • When you hear information being introduced with vague qualifiers, stop the discussion and ask if someone has hard information to verify the story. If the response is weak then use the ‘Parking space’ to defer the information to be checked at a later date. If the information is key then stop the workshop (have a break) until someone makes the necessary telephone calls to verify the information.

The Attacker

Impact:

  • Launches personal attacks on others present.
  • Time wasting, divisive.
How to handle:
    The Attacker
  • Cut off the line of fire by moving between the two parties. Ask them to sort out their differences outside during the break.
  • If it is you, the facilitator, who is being attacked then try to resist denying the charges or defending yourself. If it is your leadership or choice of facilitation tool that is under attack then thank the ‘attacker’ for their comments. Ask if you are not giving them enough opportunity to state their case and also how the imbalance could be corrected.
  • Change the environment.

The Know-it-all

Impact:

  • This person uses credentials, age, length of service or professional status to make a point – ‘I’ve worked here for 20 years , and I can tell you that idea will never work’.
  • Can dominate meeting
  • Discourage others
How to handle:
  • Acknowledge their experience but explain why the group is considering the matter. Remind them that the discussion may identify some alternatives that may be valid in the current environment. Ask for their indulgence even although the some of it may not make sense to them.
  • Invite to do introduction (time limit) then get other to comment.

What questions or comments do you have about this list? We would really like to hear them. Please send them to resource @ mentoric.com.

More difficult people and ways to handle them at:
Working with Difficult People - part 1 and
Working with Difficult People - part 3

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