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Meetings: Working with Difficult People - 3

The 'latecomer', the 'headshaker' and the 'loudmouth'. We all experience them at some point in our career. Perhaps when chairing a meeting or facilitating a workshop. But what can you do about them? Here are some suggestions:

The Backseat Driver

Impact:

This person keeps telling you, the facilitator, what to do.
Disruptive.
Damage respect of facilitator.

How to handle:

You may want to ask them to suggest a tool or technique which you can put to the rest of the group. If they concur then act on the suggestion. If they disagree then the argument is between the ‘backseat driver’ and the rest of the group.
If the ‘backseat driver’ is particularly critical then politely point out that there are different styles of facilitation, there is no one ‘right way’, and that you would like their co-operation while you adopt your own approach.

The Busybody

Impact:

This person is always taking phone calls, going in and out of the meeting, receiving messages or dealing with a ‘crisis’. Also, they are often senior and feel they have a license to come and go as they please.

How to handle:

Recommend an adjournment of the meeting until the ‘busybody’ can attend without interruption.
Deal with them outside of the meeting. Point out how inefficient this behaviour is. Get them to agree to make an effort to change.
Hold the meetings off-site or outside of normal working hours.
It is always good practice to agree among the whole group at the beginning of the meeting that pagers and phones are switched off and that messages should only be picked up at break times. Exceptions can always be made.

The Interrupter

Impact:

Starts talking before others have finished. Is often excited or impatient. They are frightened that an idea will be lost if it is not voiced immediately.
Prevents others from talking
Engenders conflict

How to handle:

Jump in immediately to referee – but always remain neutral. Between sessions you can point out to this person how their behaviour is disruptive. Suggest that they bring a notepad to write down their ideas until it is appropriate for them to be voiced.
Remind them of the ‘ground rule’

The Teachers Pet

Impact:

Spend more energy looking for approval from the facilitator than in focusing on the meeting.
Supporting ‘customer’ and disagreeing with everything else
Reduces breadth and creativity of discussion
Impact on impartiality

How to handle:

If they keep talking to you rather than the other participants then break eye contact and turn towards other in the group.
They often ask you how the meeting is going. Reverse the situation by asking them how they think it is going. The success or failure of the meeting must be shared by all the participants.

What questions or comments do you have about this list? We would really like to hear them. Please send them to resource@mentoric.com.

More difficult people and ways to handle them at:
Working with Difficult People - part 1 and
Working with Difficult People - part 2

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